why do i torture myself when i’m bored by going on the internet and window shopping and making lists and lists of things that i’m going to buy when i get paid only to then realise the total of all of these beautiful garments and shoes is completely out of my price range. humph.
definately excited for payday though. the one thing i garantuee i will be spending my money on is getting inked and touching up my other tattoo’s. and possibly the nice little topshop boots.. and converse.
and the gorgeous dress on the internet. but thats it.
i haven’t felt this motivated in possibly a million years.
i love my job, and i feel content with my life. not yet confident to say ‘happy’ because knowing me that’d jinx everything thats good at the moment. but content is the next best word to use. i’m very lucky. after months of feeling sorry for myself after disasterous situations in my family, i finally feel free of all their shit. well, not their shit - just her’s. i have my own life now. i love my job, and the people i meet and speak to on a daily basis. it’s built my confidence up. i’m finally comfortable again with my fella, i feel safe and secure again, and finally happy and okay with the fact he’s all the way over there and i’m here. it makes our relationship feel fresh everytime i see him, even after all these years. we talk more, and go on dates and to gigs and cook lots - all the things we did in the first six months. i have FINALLY got myself in a gym (well nearly) and i’m determined to slim down and tone up. no, this isn’t an ‘attention’ thing before you opinionated one’s start. its me being happy in my own skin, whatever size i am. the tablets are keeping me sane, but yet i don’t rely on them. i just take them as part as a routine. in fact, i no longer rely on anyone. not jake, not the doctor, not my parents. i just rely on myself. because if i can do this alone, i can do anything. as cliche as that sounds.
happy times! (:
♥ / Mon Apr 16th, 2012 ≡ reblog
had a lovely drunken night with eilish. god I’ve missed her enourmously. we went on a date and ate too much, then came home to devour Ben and Jerry’s and managed to somehow demolish two bottles of wine, half a bottle of amaretto and two martini’s…
quite looking forward to this week’s events now (:
jakes home wednesday, birthday on thursday on which I will be getting my next tattoo for my ‘collection’ to grow…
and then drinking and spooning with mole and the girls (:
what happened to you?
last time i checked you were a happy person, not a depressed,mardy bitch :)
just sayin.
♥ / Sat Mar 3rd, 2012 ≡ reblog
its scary getting up & feeling like this. wondering if you’ll even make it up, or out the house.
when you just lay there & think all night, and sit over thinking ever little thing.
this insomnia is a bitch.
